The Only Way to Make My PC Go Faster is to Throw it Out the Window.

I don’t know exactly how I function in this generation considering how computer illiterate I am. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to down load, attach, email, spreadsheet, and office with the best of them, but when it comes to the functioning aspects of a computer, I am the Chrissie Snow of the technical world: I just hope that I can get techies to help me using my “jiggle humor”. Recently, our computer at home had been on strike. I do not know what I did to offend it, but it was no longer working. However, it was sadistic enough to turn on and taunt me into thinking it had been a fluke each time it had crashed before. But then nothing. It would freeze then crash. I am surprised it didn’t turn its own speakers on and give it to me with sound effects. I can hear it now, ghastly screams of children being tortured mixed with car crashing noises. I was convinced: our home PC was the devil and it must be destroyed. As my friend Meegan has said, (and I so often steal) “if it worked, it wouldn’t be a computer.” No home PC, no internet. No internet, no blogging. I cannot be blogging at work and expect to retain employment. Especially with my political views. My feelings about the current administration are defiantly at odds with most of upper management.

So I told my hairier half about the issue. It took a few weeks of pleading to get him to really look at the computer (he has become immune to the afore-mentioned “jiggle humor” and sometimes takes a while to do what I ask of him). He is much more technical than me, so it took a whopping 30 seconds out of his day to fix the damn thing. He “defragged” it. Or what ever the hell that is. I really don’t care. Nor do I feel the need to know. To me, computers, machinery, large pieces of steel are not beautiful. I love food, art and books. I simply do not have the drive to learn more than I absolutely have to about technology. I know, I am living with my head in the sand. But realize this: in the coming generation, there will be less and less of us with degrees in art history and English. There will be less of us to pass on the beauty and culture we have as humans. We will all be plugged into these damn boxes typing for 18 hours a day, no longer creating or living, just existing. (and before you ask, YES, I did catch part of the Matrix on TV this morning).

Why do so few of us know anything about what is going on in the world? Why do so few of us do anything about what we see that is wrong, (and you are DAMN right; I AM talking about the current president and his collection of lackeys). I’ll tell you why. We have been brain washed by lack luster coverage by the “liberal” media, video games, Hollywood, the Faux-Fox News, and all the other crap that has been crammed down our throats while we are being distracted from activities like reading, discussing, voting and thinking for ourselves. I am just as to blame. Most of what I do is listen to Air America, and rant to the nothingness of the internet. At least I vote.

So, if I am falling behind, or find that my skills are a bit rusty the next time I enter the job market, so be it. I still think that I a more complete and fulfilling life than the loser in the next cube who couldn’t tell you if Bernini was a composer or a painter, or last year’s Secretary of Defense.

So there.